Brave & Bruised
So a couple of days ago I put Faith to bed for her afternoon nap and wow was I tired too. If you're a Mom then you know tired is an understatement. I had so many things running through my mind. So much I needed to do, and then I decided not to take a nap with her. I got to the lounge and thought, "Can I just get a break already? Please?" One major sigh and I thought, wait, I've wanted to try doing a self portrait last year already, but always made excuses. This time I thought, "Screw what must be done, I'm taking time to do this for myself." I didn't do much thinking, but immediately got my camera out, set it up on my tripod, assembled the backdrop stand and a black backdrop from Backdrop Shop SA. Then I started with the excuses again and thought, "What do I wear; how do I get dressed, make-up done and hair done and not have Faith wake up?" Oh hell to the no Ally! I soon just scrapped those thoughts and decided to do black & white portraits, wearing my black tights and top I had on. I flipped my hair over the bath and ran water over it and just scrunched it... Then I thought screw the make-up. This Is Me!
Oh my word how crazy it was to run in 2 seconds to get to that spot and "pose"... Like about 9 times and I was sweating already. Lol!
So here's one photo before my actual message to you ladies...
Now don't get me wrong... I was looking at the smallest details and it felt weird having to edit self-portraits. OMWooooooord... SO weird. :)
I didn't dare retouch my skin or anything. Hahaha. Yes I noticed flaws, but regardless of my flaws I absolutely love my body.
I use to be the one wanting to be a certain size, but about a year postpartum I started caring less about what others thought and started loving my body.
For a woman (not just Moms) to go through things physically and emotionally and then judge their body's that went through so much is heartbreaking.
... I just paused for nearly 10mins before typing again as I have tears rolling down my face, because I so much want other women to feel about their bodies, the way I feel about my body. It's you, all of you, and you're so beautiful. Don't be so hard on yourself. Don't be so hard on your body. Don't look at it in disgust, but rather in awe. How gorgeous are you! No it's not a question, but I'm telling you... You're Gorgeous Queen! You don't owe it to ANYONE to look like the "Perfect Woman" as decided by society, who mind you is filled with lots of idiots who make these stereotypes up. What do they know! Pssht. It's this sick world's perception of beautiful that to them is just on the outward and is perfect (that doesn't exist).
So some of you may know I'm obsessed with the movie "The Greatest Showman"; and I just found these titles fitting. So here's the rest of my self-portraits, and here's just a bit of what I see when I look at myself...
How beautiful it is to be a brave woman, whether in standing up for yourself or for another woman.
I've fought many battles. Battles of the mind and heart, and those bruises actually heal me. How beautiful.
At this time in my life I am who I'm meant to be as long as I'm on my way to healing myself. Healing what's been hurt and what's been broken. Healing what's been lost, by celebrating what God's been blessing me with, no matter how small it is... Waking up to a new day, a new chance. Knowing my goals and persevering no matter what.
Share this with other women in your life, and remember this always... "You're Beautiful"